


you say, I say

by kesomon



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, Humor, Only to be done by professionals, Taunting of Villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 08:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15190949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kesomon/pseuds/kesomon
Summary: Taunting the villains is best left to the professionals.Or, the one where Chat Noir schools Papillon on the importance of good grammar.





	you say, I say

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of several plot ideas but the only one that was fleshed out enough to post, so enjoy!
> 
> It should be assumed in this fic that the characters are speaking french, except when indicated to be speaking english. I cannot speak french, though, so it is all english
> 
> And yes, I realize that Miraculous/Miraculouses is what the magical items are called, but in a sentence structure, it really makes no sense, and I feel that a cultured villain like Papillon would get rather het up if called out on supposed improper language skills. And Chat is best at pushing those buttons.

Ladybug landed beside Chat, yoyo whirring to slap firmly back in her palm as they regrouped, out of breath and out of patience. Papillon’s akumized forces seemed endless, the butterfly Miraculous giving him an unending source of soldiers, and there didn’t seem to be a limit to how many he could make, as long as there were available spirit-moths to corrupt. Yet there was sweat on his brow and mania in his eyes as he ranted at them, clear proof that the older man was wearing down. Ladybug pursed her lips in thought, and turned to her partner.

“Chat. I need 5 minutes; can you distract him?”

Chat blinked, and then grinned, full of feral charm, giving his staff a twirl. “I think I can _purr_ ouse his interest,” he agreed, and with a nod they leaped apart, dividing Papillon’s focus. Chat landed nearer to the supervillain, crouched on the pads of his feet, belt-tail lashing with anticipation. Then he stood up, extended the staff to shoulder-height, and leaned on it with almost bored affectation, as Papillon began winding down on the same gloating speech he’d been repeating for almost an hour.

“-and you will give me your Miraculous!”

“My miraculous _what_?” Chat interrupted, and adopted an innocent look as Papillon’s head snapped to glare at the feline-styled hero. The question seemed to throw Papillon off; excellent. Chat grinned, pointed ears swept forward. “You keep demanding to have my miraculous, but I’m still waiting for you to finish a sentence.”

“You know very well of which I speak!” boomed the supervillain.

“N-ooo? Honestly, I don’t; you do know miraculous is an adjective, right?” Chat leaped out of the way of an akumized tentacle, landed a few feet away, and pouted. “It describes something, you gotta have a noun following it.”

“I grow tired of these games, boy! Hand over the ladybug and cat miraculouses, and I will consider sparing Paris of my akuma!”

Chat scratched one black cat-ear, pretending to consider it, and then shrugged, flicking his staff out to swat a dark-aura’d moth fluttering towards him with ill intent. “No, see, that was a bit better, but you’ve got your sentence structure all messed up. Hey,” he realised, backflipping clear of a barrage of spikes launched from another twisted soldier, and grinned at Papillon. “I just realised - _Ladybug_ is english. Is french not your first language? There’s no shame in it, learning another language is hard. I should know; I know about 5.”

Papillon’s face was turning as purple as the brocade on his armoured uniform. Chat ran with it gleefully.

“Although, to be fair, I’m not sure it sounds any better in english,” the feline considered. “ _Gihv me yer mee-rak-yu-loss,_ ” he sounded out, with purposely terrible pronunciation, and then grimaced. “Yeah, no, that doesn’t make any more sense. Maybe you should take a few more night classes.”

“HOLD. STILL,” Papillon shrieked, launching a column of akumized butterflies in Chat’s direction. Chat didn’t budge, a smirk on his lips, until the last minute - then he planted his staff, shooting towards the ceiling, and Papillon’s barrage flew straight into the crate Ladybug’s Lucky Charm had summoned.

“Whoops!”

“It’s over, Papillon!“ Ladybug shouted, slamming the door shut on the massed akuma, and spinning her yoyo till it was a bright, glowing blur. Chat landed beside her, baton back to staff-length, and took a protective stance. The yoyo whipped out, ensnaring Papillon in a tangled, magical web.

“Miraculous Ladybug!”

With a rushing whirl of red-black-and-white, the magic of the Miraculous swept through the church battleground, cleansing akumized victims and dark-aura’d butterflies alike, until only Papillon remained, looking drained and defeated. Chat leapt down and approached the hogtied supervillain, crouching on his haunches to look the man in the eye. And winked.

“See? Now that, was _miraculous_.”

**Author's Note:**

> And then they take the Butterfly miraculous and Papillon is revealed to be Adrian's father and it turns into angst that would've ruined the fun story, so use your own imagination.


End file.
